If you’re curious…

More than one reader has emailed me over the past two years and said “Baseball? You? I don’t get it, you just don’t seem the type.”

Well, I can’t explain it. I love baseball, loathe football and know about enough about basketball to tell you that Shaq can’t hit freethrows.

Baseball is an odd religion, but I am in the firm grip if its rapturous delirium. When I watch the Red Sox win, it makes me happy. I can tell you Carlton Fisk’s career stats if you want to know more about the Sox. I can also tell you about how Barry Bonds couldn’t throw Sid Bream out as he waddled down the third base line in the 1992 NLCS. (That was October 14th, by the way, of 1992. There’s no explaining what it’s like to be in a cult…) (See, Braves fans recall that moment and get all choked up, although we really enjoy laughing at that ‘roided-up monster, Bonds, because he refused to join the Braves for what would become their best season ever, deriding them as “a bunch of losers.” It makes us happy to know that BB spent September that year watching it on TV. Asshole.) (ANYWAY….if you want to see something funny, walk up to a lifelong Braves fan and start shouting “Braves win! Braves win! Braves win! Braves win!” We get all choked up.)

I remember that as my baseball obsession deepened, I was ravenous about baseball facts, and I devoured several books, including George Will’s ponderous “Men at Work,” where I discovered that Will and I agree about many things, all of them related somehow to baseball.

But the MAN, the guy you need to read if you’re really curious about baseball, is Thomas Boswell, the baseball writer for the WaPo. He’s written several brilliant books on baseball, including my two favorites: “The Heart of the Order” and “Cracking the Show,” both of which are collections of brilliant essays. If you want to know more about baseball, save the Thomas Boswell books for those desperate February days where it seems like it’s going to be a YEAR before pitchers and catchers report.

To whet your appetite, here’s Boswell’s wrap-up on the World Series that ended last night. It’s not his best, and it might have been filed as he was running out the door to start his brief couple of months when there isn’t baseball that needs covering, but it’s not a bad starter.

Pitchers and catchers report in about five months. Anyone wanna road trip to spring training?

Oh, fer chrissakes

I don’t know what I can add to this to make it funnier. The election has been decided, folks…

by psychic bulldogs:

Jacqueline Stallone says the psychic dogs she keeps have predicted that George W. Bush will win the election next Tuesday by 15 percentage points.

But Sylvester Stallone’s momma’s dogs are not on the same wavelength as some central Ohio psychics.

Remember what I said earlier about this election having gotten too stupid to live? We were somewhere above this, still not quite to the bottom of the barrel. Now we have broken through the bottom and started digging…

it’s the party of Lincoln

and it’s FAAAAAAAA-BOO!

Seriously.

Abe Lincoln… gay?

If the loving heart of the Great Emancipator found its natural amorous passions overwhelmingly directed toward those of his own sex, it would certainly be a stunning rebuke to the Republican Party’s scapegoating of same-sex love for electoral purposes. And a forthcoming book by the late Dr. C.A. Tripp — The Intimate World of Abraham Lincoln, to be published in the new year by Free Press — makes a powerful case that Lincoln was a lover of men.

I mean, it’s a stretch…but what if?

(thanks to reader D”F”T.)

My Mistake

See, i thought that the Bush Administration was using the Homer Simpson defense on this whole 380 tons of HIGH FUCKING EXPLOSIVES thing… But TBogg more astutely points out that it’s actually an classic example of the “Otter defense” from Animal House:

Otter: Ladies and gentlemen, I’ll be brief. The issue here is not whether we broke a few rules or took a few liberties with our female party guests — we did. But you can’t hold a whole fraternity responsible for the actions of a few sick, perverted individuals. For if you do, then shouldn’t we blame the whole fraternity system? And if the whole fraternity system is guilty, then isn’t this an indictment of our educational institutions in general? I put it to you … isn’t this an indictment of our entire American society? Well, you can do what you want to us, but we’re not going to sit here and listen to you badmouth the United States of America!

My mistake.

Who is YOUR local second rate newspaper endorsing?

From The Manchester Guardian:

Ocala (Fla.) Star-Banner endorsed Bush on Oct. 24:
The economy is on the upswing, new jobs are being created and inflation is under control. Our schools are showing steady improvement and the massive federal government is functioning reasonably well. But most important, America and its people are vigilant like never before against the threat of our enemies.

You’d be tempted to ask if these people are reading the news, but unless this is one of those newspapers where you browse for a second hand lawn tractor and a used shotgun, apparently they write the news…

Houston Chronicle endorsed Bush on Oct. 24:
Like many people, Bush finds it difficult to admit a mistake, particularly when under attack on all sides. However, history is replete with instances in which imperfect but confident national leaders proved preferable to cautious, indecisive ones.

Blindfold? check…
Open wheel Indy car? check…
Three shots of Jaeger and three rails of blow? check…
Let’s get out there and make policy!

Watching people that can read and write and are in the news business dig for rationalizations to support this guy is interesting sport. I suggest you go and read the whole thing.

I wish that I had more to say

But between reading Josh Marshall’s exhaustive coverage of the deep QaQaa that the White House is in (an unfortunately, our troops and lots of bystanders in Iraq) and tales of voter suppression from Florida and Ohio, I am kind of in a funk.

The high spot?

A new Zap Mama record that I heard about on NPR this morning. You can preview the whole thing on their website using Quicktime. I think is sounds pretty damn good.

Shiny pretty

New color screen iPods.

A guy could almost swear off being an anti-materialist for this..

the real purpose of this screen is, of course, to display your digital pictures, which the iPod Photo automatically copies from your Mac or PC.

you can also connect the iPod Photo to a TV set by plugging the included iPod-white, three-headed audio-video cable into, of all things, the iPod’s headphone jack. (There’s also an S-video jack on its charging cradle.)

The shifting sands of QaQaa.

OK, I really do enjoy saying “QaQaa” out loud. It’s fun.

What I also enjoy is watching the eternally shifting White House rationalizations about 380 tons of missing high explosives.

Listening to the pentagon try to spin the White House’s position on how to lose nearly 400 tons of high explosives hearkens back to Homer’s words for Bart to remember (when Homer thought that the fugu was going to kill him and Bart was going to have to raise himself):

I want to share something with you — the three sentences that will get you through life. Number one, “Cover for me.” Number two, “Oh, good idea, boss.” Number three, “It was like that when I got here.”

The eternal wisdom of the great Homer Simpson.

Sox Win!

Oh, yay. Finally, tomorrow the Red Sox can go back to being just another baseball team. No curse, no more.

Nice.

Congratulations, BoSox fans. You’ve waited long enough.

Y’know, I like him a lot more now

Watch Clinton fire up some lazy journalist on the BBC.

When he was President, he wasn’t my favorite. I always said that he was the first republican I had ever voted for. Boy, was I wrong.

He was the guy for the job, and I am prepared to admit that my halfhearted defenses of him were because I didn’t understand the game. (arguably, he didn’t at first, either.)

Now, I love seeing him on TV. I like knowing that it steams fuckers like Bob Novak that he gets treated like a rock star. Y’know what, you can hate Clinton all you want, but he owns TV, and if he was running for President in November, that randy bastard would win again. I know that fact makes Ann Coulter’s man-hands into man-fists, and it makes me happy.