Guest Blogger in the Sky!

Hi, folks! It’s David, your humble narrator’s twin. I just wanted to
pop by and say hello and share an observation with you.

But first of all, have you seen the new Osama Bin Laden video? I had a
look at it on Friday and frankly, it was kind of a relief to see
SOMEBODY on television who wasn’t asking me to vote for him. But that’s
beside the point.

The Republican party has taught us a lot of things this year, doncha
think? Who knew there were two Internets? And after watching way way
way too much television news, I have come to a rather startling conclusion.

There are TWO countries named I-R-A-Q. Yes, it’s true. If you listen
closely to politicians, you will notice the following.

There is one country called “eye-RACK”. In “eye-RACK” things are just
ducky. American troops are greeted as liberators and there are no rape
and torture rooms and American-built hospitals are popping up like
mushrooms after a rain-storm.

Then there is the other country, “ee-ROCK”. In “ee-ROCK”, there are
thousands of violent and bloodthirsty insurgents, car bombs and ambushes
kill American soldiers daily, and we are hopelessly stuck in a quagmire.

Oh, and the media is in “ee-ROCK”, while the brave American soldiers
in “eye-RACK” give little kids candy, are treated like kings, and never,
ever, EVER torture and humiliate prisoners of war. In “ee-ROCK”,
according to British medical journal The Lancet, 100,000 Iraqi civilians have been killed in this war. (That’s about 97,000 more civilians lives than the U.S. lost on 9/11, but WHO’S
COUNTING, right?) In “eye-RACK”, nobody bothers to keep count of how
many Iraqis have died in the war. I mean, it’s not like they’re white
people or anything.

Any questions? I hope this clears up some of the confusion for you guys.


Brother David

Guest blogger

There may be a disturbance in the Force today- I am giving my twin brother David log-in powers here for the day so that he can get a couple of things off of his chest.

Yes, we’re really twins, and yes, we’re identical.

No, I am not making this up.


I take this as a good sign-

About the Marine Corps Marathon… if the amount of Kerry/Edwards paraphernalia (stickers, caps, t-shirts, banners, etc) at the Marine Corps Marathon are any indication, we are about to get a new President.

Seriously, now, we are talking about an event that is sponsored by the US Marine Corps- there are a lot of marines running, and that’s who mans all the water points, as well as every other aspect of the race. The first year I ran was 2001, and it was just over a month after 9/11. The Pentagon was still all busted up when we ran by, and the mood was unreservedly patriotic. In the years since, I have definitely gotten the vibe that the hometown crowd for the MCM is pretty conservative. I mean, it’s the marines, right? The military can be counted on to vote republican, right?

Well, yesterday, the ratio of KE04 stickers and t-shirts vs. BC04 was (no shit) 10:1. EASY 10:1. Everywhere you looked, runners had KE04 stickers on their shirts. People were waving signs on the race course or wearing t-shirts of their own. It was amazing. The Bush/Cheney folks were there, but in thin numbers.

What’s that tell ya?

The Agony of the feet

Actually, today I don’t feel quite so bad. My legs are a little stiff when I first stand up, but after I move around a while, I start to get a little more limber.

I am foggy-headed, but I drank enough coffee to get myself back to work.

My dad is hurting, but not as bad as he ought to be, after running against his doctor’s orders.

If you read past the fold, you’ll get a detailed description of what it’s like to run the Marine Corps Marathon…
[Read more…]

Remember the scene from the Chappelle show?

The one where Eddie Murphy and his brother beat on Rick James’ legs for putting his boots on the couch?

That’s how my legs feel… right now

Here’s the stunner- my dad, who could barely get out of bed this morning, ran the whole fucking marathon. He’s a crazy man. Can’t believe it. Any sane human being would have stayed home and watched it on the news.

This was not my best marathon, not by a long shot, but it was because I made a conscious decision not to just run off and abandon my dad. He was bound and determined to tough out the marathon, even though he was in terrible pain the whole way. It took us more than six hours to finish, and let me tell you… you might think that it’s easier to run 26.2 miles more slowly. It’s not. It’s way, WAY harder. Because we were out there an extra hour and a half longer than we had planned, and it hurt the whole last two hours of the race. It was brutal….

I am sunburned. and dehydrated still. And walking is a chore. Lying down, also a chore. Everything hurts, but we finished.

Gordon, oo-rah right back at ya!

that’s four marathons I have run. Today was the hardest. Whew.