Jeff Goldstein is an asshole.

And really, what says it more than lamenting that a woman journalist’s head wasn’t cut off?

To whit:

Apparently Ms Carroll was treated like a princess by her noble and gentlemenly kidnappers, who snatched her up three months ago simply to protest the occupation of their country by the forces who liberated 25 million Iraqis from under the boot heel of Saddam Hussein. Such a selfless and, yes, painful, act by such a benign and caring and patriotic insurgency!

I mean, screw the millions of Iraqis who voted for democratic reform—impossible without the ouster of Saddam—these mujahadeen care about their honor, and the honor of their country!

Which begs the question: why did she come back? Seems like she had it made where she was. Figs. Fine silks. An all-around comfortable kidnapping, from all accounts.

—Unless, of course, she’s trying to cut in on some of that Cindy Sheehan “speaking Truth to Power” money. Big bucks in that, I hear.

You could almost write this off as a thin-lipped attempt at humor, except that the tub cleaner fumes seem to have been getting to Mr. Protein Shake, lately, and he’s developed what appears to be a severe case of the shack-nasties. I sorta picture him sitting at his computer, splattered with baby food and shaking with rage at Jill Carroll’s FUCKING AUDACITY to turn up in Baghdad WITH HER HEAD STILL ATTACHED! HARLOT!

I think it’s Carroll’s decision to adopt the traditional female headdress of the locals that gets Goldstein’s protein-filled panties all knotted up. It’s easy to sit in Shithead, Colorado and call a woman in a headscarf an “appeaser.” I suspect that he harbors suspicions that the poor woman has succumbed to hysteria and gone native. She’s a woman, after all, and you KNOW how they are… Never mind that for a woman, going out WITHOUT a headscarf is an easy way to get one’s head cut off, preliminary kidnapping not necessary.

For these wingnuts, Jill Carroll’s crime was trying to get the story. Adopting local dress, learning to speak the language, getting out of the Green Zone, none, NONE of that is in the Laura Ingraham , Fox News playbook. What is she, some sort of COLLABORATOR?

May I refer you back to the firsthand account of Canadian journalist Scott Taylor, who was also kidnapped in Iraq? He changed hands several times, between several resistance groups. Some treated him with kindness and fed him meals, others beat and brutalized him, believing he was a CIA spy. But even when he was being fed, and spoken to by his captors, the threat of having his head sawn off never went away.

So.

I think it’s sort of shallow (and frankly sexist) to sit in your condo in Coloradical, dude, and talk smack about a woman who was kidnapped for three months and who lived in fear for her life every day. Of course, y’know, she hasn’t exactly been effusive in her praise of Dear Leader’s Magnificent War, nor has she roundly condemned all Arabs as jackals and scoundrels, so she’s way off Goldstein’s maps.

Here there be dragons, I guess.

And as for that last cheap bit of demagoguery “—Unless, of course, she’s trying to cut in on some of that Cindy Sheehan ‘speaking Truth to Power’ money. Big bucks in that, I hear.”

Hmmm…. yeah, big bucks in having your only child killed in a pointless war, Jeff. Not as much as being a Pajamaline Stay-at-home hysteric, I’d wager, but it’s a lot less fun, too.

Asshole.

I’d be pissed, too

You may ask yourself “Why on earth would Cynthia McKinney punch a Capitol Hill cop?”

Well, maybe it’s because they keep fucking with her. Y’know, suspiciously dark skin and all…

In August 1993, during her first term in office, a Capitol Hill police officer tried to prevent her from bypassing a metal detector, as members of Congress are allowed to do. For years afterward, The Hill reports, the Capitol Police pinned a picture of McKinney to an office wall, warning officers to learn her face because she refuses to wear her member’s pin. (And because officers are innately suspicious of a black woman with braided hair and gold shoes.) Five years later, she blasted White House security after guards thought her 23-year-old white aide was the congresswoman.

You there! You non-white person! Stop!

By the way…

I’d like to take this opportunity to say, once again, that I was right, goddamnit.

I mean, if my twin brother wants to forgive that histrionic harridan, that’s his bidness. But at least I can hold my head up and say “I told you people not to go messing around with that,” and they can’t say anything except “Baghdad Istanbul is a veritable paradise of ice cream shops and safe streets!”

Yuh.

Not if I had to piss like a racehorse and she was on fire.

I hate that I have been such a dullard today

I have been working on the advance kit for my band. On the other hand, Fixer and Gordon have been busy. Check out Fixer’s rant about… hmmm… pick one…..

You put a bunch of scared, bewildered kids in a place where they can’t tell friend from foe and can’t speak the language, and then tell them it’s a free fire zone, you’re gonna get a lot of dead innocents. What does that remind you of? Begins with a ‘V’…

I’m really fucking tired of people who speak of going to war so casually when they have zero clue of what it’s all about. Just shut the fuck up. You certainly wouldn’t be so cavalier if there was a draft now; would ya?

Then Gordon

This immigration bullshit has gone on before as Mr. Scheer writes. All kinds of Europeans have been its victims back east, and Mexicans and Asians out west. Most of ‘em, particularly whites, have been assimilated over time. Hey, with white people you have to know their last name cuz they speak English. Much easier to discriminate against “culluds” cuz they’re easier to spot. Even if they speak English.

Which brings up a point: I think part of this whole deal has to do with language. Most of the Europeans that I’ve met can speak several languages due to proximity. It’s not far to where a different language is spoken, they’re right there, and it’s fairly easy for them because they’re exposed at a young age.

A good portion of the U.S. is so fuckin’ insular and hidebound that I think a lot of people are insulted that furriners fresh out of the trunk of a car dare to speak their own language.

yeah. Those boys aren’t pulling any punches today.

OK, lots of good news

The MHY record is finally mixed. Next we master, and then everyone can have a copy. I am sure you’re as excited as I am.

Next, looks like Jill Carroll is coming home.

So is the only survivor of the Sago Mine Disaster.

And the chickens? They are coming home to roost, as well. Right there on Howard Kaloogian’s pointy little head.

His explanation? “Baghdad, Istanbul? Whassafuckin’ difference? You liberal media types SURE ARE PICKY…”

Doing what I should have been doing all along

Today I am going to be taking a day off from work to mix the Music Hates You record. This also means that I will be taking time away from my internet connection, so, y’know, talk to you later?

I might pop in over the course of the day.

But mostly I will be busying myself with making a massive, huge sounding record.

I was grumpy when I had to quit drugs, too

Man, Spring training is looking a lot like a family reunion at the Jackson Compound. Two fights in two days? Over games that don’t even count?

One week before Opening Day, excitable reliever Julian Tavarez punched Tampa Bay outfielder Joey Gathright lightly in the jaw Monday after a play at the plate. Players ran in from the benches and bullpens, clutching opponents and trying to keep their teammates from going after the other side.

No injuries were reported.

The action came one day after Boston almost got into a dustup with Philadelphia.

Oh, daddy needs his medicine…

required reading:

Check out this open letter to the US Media.

I learned an important lesson from the guys with whom I framed houses in Chicago-

You can be Mexican American and never have had an ancestor who crossed the border. As Los Tigres del Norte say in “Somos Mas Americanos,”

Yo no cruce la frontera, ¡la frontera me cruzo!

joke from the col.

My dad sent me this:

A crusty old Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event, hosted
by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely
young, idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the
Sergeant Major for conversation.

She said, “Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very
serious man. Is something bothering you?”

“Negative, ma’am,” the Sergeant Major said, “Just serious by nature.”

“The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, “It
looks like you have seen a lot of action.”

The Sergeant Major’s short reply was, “Yes, ma’am, a lot of action.”

The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said,
“You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself.”

The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner. Finally
the young lady said, “You know, I hope you don’t take this the wrong
way, but when is the last time you had sex?”

The Sergeant Major looked at her and replied,
“1955.”

She said, “Well, there you are. You really need to chill out and quit
taking everything so seriously! I mean, no sex since 1955! She took
his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to “relax” him
several times. Afterwards, and panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest and said, “Wow, you sure didn’t forget much since 1955!”

The Sergeant Major, glancing at his watch, said in his matter-of-factvoice, “I hope not, it’s only 2130 now.”

Cognitive Dissonance in a nutshell

from Candide’s Notebooks:

In 1995, Jose Guttierez was a 14-year-old orphan in Guatemala when he decided to do what 700,000 other Guatemalans had done — enter the United States illegally. Two thousand miles and 14 freight trains later, Guttierez crossed the Rio Grande. He was promptly arrested by the Border Patrol. Being a minor and without a family, he was spared deportation and turned over to California’s welfare system. He spent the next four years in foster homes, learning English, attending and graduating high school, getting his medical needs taken care of by the public health system. As the lexicon of neo-flag-wavers would put it, Guttierez was freeloading on the American taxpayer.
When he turned 18, Guettierez got himself a Green Card. He planned to be an architect. Not quite having the means yet, in 2002 he joined the Marines. A year later he found himself shipping off to Kuwait. And in the first hours on the first day of the Iraqasion, he was killed on the outskirts of Umm Qasr, just inside the Iraqi border. He was the first of 2,322 Americans (so far) to be killed in the war. He is, as the lexicon of neo-flag-wavers like to say, a hero, a patriot, among America’s finest.

So. Which is it? Freeloader? Illegal immigrant? Criminal? Or hero?

The rest of the entry is just as interesting, and I highly recommend it.