Oh, this China White? It’s for medicinal purposes

Sometimes I can’t help but wonder what would happen if I offered the same excuses the Bush Administration does for the bullshit it pulls.

I mean, following this headline…

U.S. to resume plutonium 238 production-report

with this explanatory paragraph…

The newspaper quoted project managers as saying most, if not all, of the new plutonium was intended for secret missions. The officials would not disclose details, but the newspaper said the plutonium in the past powered espionage devices.

Fucking WHATEVER.

Look, I just need a little heroin for this toothache I am having. How much? Oh, I can’t tell you. It’s a secret.

  1. Before I had ten teeth extracted all at once, I told my dentist, a former Navy dentist in Vietnam and a retired ANG General, that my preferred anesthetic was heroin and plenty of it. He said he couldn’t do that, but he’d have his wife kneel on my chest and lift her skirt, and that oughta knock me out for long enough.

    Then he put his knee on my chest and started poppin’ ’em out with his Buck knife: “$80…$160…$240…”

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