YAWNNnnnnnnnn….. streeeeetch…. WTF????

Woke up this morning, made a little coffee, poured a big bowl of Mrs. Dog’s homemade granola and logged onto the internet and HOLY COW….

I usually get about, oh, 200 hits a day around here. Apparently, I crossed that mark at about 15 minutes past midnight today.

I got linked by TBogg sometime yesterday, and Here they come!

First time visitors: Howdy folks, I am gonna put on some pants real quick. Still a little early for hors d’oeuvres, but there’s coffee on.

Interestingly, TBogg’s entry is his confession that he never finished college. My regular readers know that I am a HUGE TBogg fan, so much that he was one of the first people I sent a copy of the new Music Hates You record. His entry says, among other things,

I still wish that I had not been such a young fool and that I had done the work and finished my formal education, but there are some days when I read what passes for intellgent discourse from the overly educated on the internets and I am reminded of the words of Randy Newman who once wrote:

College men from LSU.
Went in dumb.
Come out dumb too.

…and I feel a little bit better about the choices that I made.

I would like to address this directly to Mr. Bogg-

Brother, if I end up doing half as well as you have (let’s see- you’re self-employed, right? You live in the city with the most perfect weather in the country, you’re married to “the radiant and bodaciously tata’d mrs tbogg” and father to the most famous youth soccer player in California) (c’mon, EVERYBODY knows Casey), then, y’know, I am going to count myself very, very, very lucky. And, in addition to having an advanced degree, which I have NEVER used to get a job, I am about to head out to work at my second job, and it’s Saturday. I am thinking you’re visiting the Missus and having Seis de Mayo huevos rancheros and thinking about putting an afternoon nap on your Things To Do list.

I mean, if an advanced degree blinds you to the fact that this paragraph sentence fragment

“hermeneutics, intentionalism, and historiographical theory—which invested heavily in analyses of linguistic assumptions, particularly how they are formed, the impact they have on identity formation”

doesn’t mean anything… I’ll take the huevos rancheros.

7 Comments

  1. B Moe

    That isn’t even a complete sentence, much less a paragraph. Is your advanced degree perhaps blinding you?

  2. Oh, excellent- I have my own proof reader. Whew. I thought I was going to have to go through life double-checking my own paragraphs sentence fragments.

  3. B Moe

    No problem, wouldn’t want you looking like a paste eater. Although if you were to set down with the whole paragraph and a good dictionary you might actually glean some meaning from it. Probably not, though.

  4. You know, I actually do have the degree Jeff almost got. I can decode that fragment for you, if you like. Here we go:

    “Jeff Goldstein eats paste.”

    I actually skimmed through the pdf of his stuff that he posted, and when the semester is over I might get back to it — basically, he is using “high theory” to avoid examining difficult historical and literary questions and to justify his own comfortable assumptions about how the world works.

    But “eating paste” works pretty well as a quick version.

  5. B Moe

    I guess I will just have to take Thers word for it, I won’t argue with English Professors when it comes to subjects like paste eating.

  6. if you were to set down with the whole paragraph and a good dictionary you might actually glean some meaning from it.

    Or I could make a sandwich and go work in the garden.

    One of these exercises is completely pointless.

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