Garden Porn, Installment 1 for June 1st, 2006

Let’s begins with a few contrasts…

here is a mild-mannered tomato that sprouted from last year’s tomato seeds that were in the dirt. This photo was taken about two weeks ago, roughly. It’s happy and healthy, but not… y’know, scary…

Now here is that same tomato plant today, trying to eat the Missus:

notice that the white pvc stake is no long visible.

Now, you may know the story of Squashzilla. Squashzilla was a volunteer from the compost pile. We knew it was some kind of gourd, but we weren’t sure which. Well, here is Squashzilla two weeks ago. Think of this photo as “Squashzilla biding its time…”

Here it is, minding its own business and leaving the tomatoes next door alone:

That was two weeks ago.

We have since determined that Squashzilla is actually a pumpkin plant. We have renamed it Pumpking Kong. Here it is, making its move:
(this was taken today)

the tomatoes were hurriedly writing notes to their loved ones in the dirt, because it was clear, unless something drastic happened, they were about to be crushed by Pumpking Kong.

here is the missus doing battle with Pumpking Kong and heroically saving the tomatoes:

Additionally, we have six foot tall green bean plants:

Here’s Mrs. Dog next to the green beans:

here is the collards patch:

The cucumber plants are flowering:

sweet potatoes are shooting out runners:

and “How,” you Southern Folk may ask, are the tomatoes doing?”

Oh, not bad.

Check out the Romas:

their neighbors are ticking right along too:

Last, for this installment anyway, here’s our fig tree:

The dirt we got from our friend Nicki is some magic stuff. We have not used any fertilizer or pesticides anywhere in the garden. So far it’s just been good dirt and water.

Come play in the dirt with us if you want. You’re invited.


  1. I have a black thumb, I’m afraid, and I don’t want the blood of your precious, precious tomatoes on my hands. I will, however, happily admire your garden from a safe distance, and help make and eat salsa!

  2. Ah, I loved gardening in the south. Once grew a tomato plant 8′ high. (No fruit at that size, but I just wanted to see how tall it would get.)

    And I spent college driving a 74 pea green Dart. Damn, I loved that car. Drove it until the frame rusted out from underneath me.

    Thanks again for the kind offer, but so far nothing’s happened.

  3. You have a MAGNIFICENT garden, Patrick dear. And come the end of the summer, you’re going to have the most wonderful, sun-drenched veggies on the face of the Earth. Or at least in your county. GOOD on ye!

  4. Wow. My tomatoes are just starting to gain some strength, though one of them has already produced two little fruits that may have to be sacrificed before they break the stem. My garden isn’t that big, but it feeds me and the neighbors so I guess it’s big enough. You make me want to grow pumpkins. Have to think about where I could do that….

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