Fly nude- it’s for your safety.

My friend Robyn nails the current Zeitgeist:

Terrorists win again.

Air travel.

Electronic carry-on bag search.. but it’s for everyone’s security, so it’s OK.

Leave your lighters, nail clippers and shampoo behind. It’s for the safety of yourself and others. If you care for your fellow-man, you’ll do it. It’s for everyone’s safety.

Take off your shoes. Stare at the caramel skinned, bearded man. He might be a terrorist. Take off your belt. Go through again. Safe and soundless.

No, you can’t travel with carry-on bag. There might be an undetected explosive in there. No, you can’t travel with a hair dryer in your checked-in luggage. It could be a targeting device for terrorist missiles. Safety first!

You know what? Just take it all off. The FBI now suspects every clothed individual of utilizing fabric bombs. All boarding passengers must strip completely, put on a paper smock and booties provided by the airline. Have a safe trip.

Airlines will no longer permit any bags, checked in, carried on or otherwise. You’ll just have to buy new clothes, toothpaste and refill prescriptions at your destination. There’s a Wal-Mart inside the airport. Just get it all there. Watch out for falling prices!

Air travel has been outlawed due to terrorist threats. All overseas trips must be made by boat. All domestic ventures made by automobile. It’s safer for everyone.

Due to nautical warfare and insane oil prices, all travel has been outlawed. Stay in your homes. Only drink government purified purchased water. Be careful.. someone may have contaminated it at the bottling plant. God bless America, my home sweet home.

Sattellites watch you from above, for your safety. Every dollar you earn, steal or spend is tracked for your safety. You live in fear forever.. for your safety.

“And the beauty of it is, the majority of Americans will have been so frightened by terrorist incidents that they will beg to be controlled as a masochist begs for the whip.” ~R.A.W. circa 1975

Lady MacBeth syndrome in action. We suck.


  1. […] Visitor #100,000 was from Gulfport, Mississippi. A Bellsouth user, they stopped by on Aug 10 2006 at 8:37:20 pm. Their entry point was Robyn’s essay about flying nude, and they went ahead and checked out the entry on Joe Lieberman’s boneheaded tech staff. […]

  2. hb

    I understand that this latest hysteria, which has the MSM totally pre-occupied, concerns a plot which involved a 2 liter bottle of Pepsi and a roll of Mentos.

  3. Great post! Your friend Robyn has a razory sense of humor.

    I expect in a week or two, we’ll find that this “terrorist plot” will go the way of the others recently “uncovered” and trumpeted as triumphs of Your Government Hard at Work: A bunch of doofuses with aspirations and a lot of uncareful talk.

    Fact is, Sept. 11 was the real thing. Madrid was the real thing. London was the real thing — and not stopped because the terrorists were the real thing.

    Terrorism works precisely because it doesn’t generally involve vast conspiracies — just people who are quiet, cold and dedicated to their cause.

  4. You know, maybe traveling naked isn’t such a bad idea. Maybe that would force Americans to finally get over some of our hangups about the body.

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