Amber sent me a link so some more Masculinist chest-beating over at someone named Jace’s weblog.

It’s the “Retrosexual Code”!  Oh, my! Instructions on how to “Act Like a Man!”

I responded in his comments, but let me reiterate here for good measure:

Odd that for all of the chestbeating, guns and killing people (or hunting) are mentioned three times each, along with personal appearance (clothes, grooming accessories, etc) mentioned a couple of times each…

In the meantime, there are zero mentions of 1. Going to work and holding a job, 2. raising one’s own children, 3. paying down all of your debts until there are none.

The two jobs of a man:  protection and providence.  Do it and shut up about it.

Methinks you ladies protest too much.  All of this shit is windowdressing to men who actually act like men.  This sounds like a bunch of office drones beating their chests and posturing.

Get over it.  You’re half the man your grandfather was, and a third the man his father was.  Publishing a list of Manly Man characteristics on your website is about three percent more effective at establishing masculine bonafides than wearing a “No Fear” t-shirt.

Color me unimpressed.


  1. Responsibility and duty? Novel.

    Why is the that the men so hung up on defining masculinity or identifying machismo have none of these things?

    Just another example of where Freud was on to something.

  2. The list sounded to Amber and me like the person who wrote it got screwed over by one of those “redecorate your home” shows. Like, they were all set up to film, but at the last minute the producer said, “yeah, that guy kept waiving a gun at me and refused to sign our waiver, demanding that we seal the whole thing on a handshake.”

  3. That is someone who is not at all bothered by the tyranny of low expectations.

    No no, there’s so much more than that. Apparently, you must be possessed of a penis, boorish behavior, and crushing fears. For instance, you must have a fear of homosexuals, a fear of remodeling shows, a fear of any and all activities traditionally identified with females, a fear of women with strong personalities, a fear of women who don’t need your help, a fear of women who are financially independent, a fear of people who make you question your own masculinity and, finally, a fear of any activity that might show that you’re a human being with weaknesses and foibles.

    Does that about cover it?

    Why are men who propose such schemes always wracked by such a wide variety of fears? Must have something to do with being a doughy pantload in mom’s basement at age 45.

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