A long, sordid tale with a happy ending

Seriously, fuck UPS.  
I got a turntable when I was in DC.  It’s the NuMark TT USB, so that I can rip my vinyl to iTunes.  Since I had to fly home, I shipped to myself.  I put my office number at work on it AND MY PHONE NUMBER.
For some reason UPS brought a package that was CLEARLY labeled with my office address to the house I lived in two years ago, which is in a really rough neighborhood.

And whaddya know, when the man in brown knocked on the door of my old house, some kid said “Yeah, that’s me,” and signed for my package.

I discovered this by calling their tracking line when the package was late, and they said “Well, someone signed for it at your old address….”

I was practically shouting into the phone “WHY DIDN’T YOU JUST BRING IT TO MY OFFICE??”

So I went to my old house, still bewildered as to why my package went there, no one would answer the door, so I nailed a note to the door like Martin Luther, saying “YOU HAVE MY PACKAGE. HERE’S MY NUMBER. DON’T BE AN IDIOT.”

Of course, they never called, but UPS went by on Monday and they cheerfully handed over the package. Perhaps they were watching me with some trepidation as I hammered that note to the door.

THEN today UPS brings the package to the wrong office… in the wrong building on campus… and just leaves it. I called again and they said “Oh, we left it at your office!” Picture me looking around like “Whah? Did I miss it?”

“OK, it’s not here.”

Someone in the other office noticed that MY PHONE NUMBER WAS IN THE SHIPPING MANIFEST, AND THEY CALLED ME.

How come some secretary at the Veterinary Teaching Hospital was able to work that out and not UPS? She answers phones all day and they deliver packages… maybe it was her familiarity with those seven strange digits on the outside of the box.

So, yeah, I got my package a week late, cut open by some idiot kid who apparently didn’t need a turntable, and etc, etc…

UPS can kiss it, thanks. 

HOWEVER, I now have a new turntable and I went and bought a discwasher kit, and I am going to be at home listening to records and ripping them to iTunes… I am so pleased.


  1. About a year ago, UPS delivered a pair of running shoes I bought online to my office instead of my house. I was puzzled as to how and why they did it. The address on the box was my home address and I didn’t give the shoe company my office address. I called the local UPS office to complain and the manager said that they got my office address from their computer records. I told the guy that doing that was highly inappropriate — what if it had been porn or something!?

    But, here’s the worst UPS story I have. I live at the top of a steep hill and share a long driveway with five other homes. The driveway has two entries. As I was pulling in my driveway, I saw the UPS truck in front of my house. So, I went down to the other entry and drove up behind the UPS truck. As I approached, the truck drove away. Then, I noticed that the phone and TV cable lines to my house were on the ground. The UPS guy had hit them with the top of his truck. Then, he just took off. He didn’t even leave my package. I called the UPS office on my cell phone and they made the driver come back (he didn’t realize that I saw him).

    The UPS guy brought my package, but insisted that he didn’t knock down my lines. I told him that I was right behind him when he drove away.

  2. WEIRD. I’m glad I’m not the only one this has happened to. I had a friend ship something to me and I gave him my current mailing address in Athens. It never showed up. Finally, an ex-gf of mine called me a couple weeks later and said UPS had delivered a package to her with my name on it, and what do you know, it was the one I was expecting.

    How the hell UPS got my ex-gf’s old address I will never know, because I didn’t even REMEMBER that address myself. I know I didn’t give it to my friend by mistake. AND the only thing I ever had sent to her address in my name was a credit card bill over a year prior.

    Seriously fuckin’ weird.

  3. Mike

    ah HA! It finally arrived…Hence your sudden interest in a used record buying spree. I now understand.

    As a general statement, UPS may kiss my taint as well. Too many stories to list…

  4. I was, briefly, in charge of reconciling shipping errors for a major ISP. UPS raises my ire more than just about anything else.

    The worst part, according to our contract, if UPS did something like mis-deliver the package, we were still liable for the shipping.

    Anyway, nice Blog.

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